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Do you guys remember the hot boy I met at the bar last weekend? Well we had been texting all weekend and monday he invited me over to his house to smoke hookah with him and his friends. I'm super excited driving over there and i walk up and ring the doorbell. The door opens he says "hey you made it" and I stand there trying to hide the shock/ disappointment on my face. The hot sexy boy I thought I had been texting turned out to be Mclovin's long lost blonde twin. I felt like my mind had played a cruel joke on me. Needless to say, I smoked a little hookah and got the hell out of dodge.
Went to my therapist today. I told her about my fear of becoming the old lonely virgin cat lady. Her advice was to stand in the mirror everyday and repeat "I am a beautiful intelligent young lady anyone would be lucky to be with me." Without thinking I blurted out "I can stand in the mirror all day and say 'I'm Demi Moore' but it doesn't mean I get to come home and fuck Ashton Kutcher"...she wasn't too pleased. Think it's time to start looking for a new therapist.
My weight has been the same for the last few days and then yesterday all I ate was 15 cheez its at around 11am and I gained .4lbs...I'm pretty sure god hates me
Hope yall are having a spectacular day!
This was a fun-filled weekend of bars and drinks with wayyy to many calories. Normally, I have this little problem controlling myself when I'm drunk aka telling complete strangers my whole life story ("hey I'm Rachel. When I was eight...), kissing random boys, and basically just making an ass out of myself. Butttt this weekend I didn't get completely wasted and it was nice to not wake up feeling like I was the sloppy drunk moron at the party. So that was nice.
I met this boy on friday. He is friends with one of my other friends. So we talked the whole night and he asked for my number and said he was going to text me the next day. Next day came around...no text. But thats not really a shock it happens all the time right? Saturday night went out to some more bars and my friend (who is friends with boy) was there and asked me if I wanted her to give my number to boy. I said I already gave it to him but I was a little drunk so I could have given him the wrong number. She was going to a party he was at so when she got there she gave him my number and he text me...
"Are you only texting me because (insert friends name here) told you to?"
he said no that he accidentally forgot to save my number blah blah blah
"I feel like I'm being annoying and drunk texitng you so i'm going to stop..."
he said i wasn't blah blah blah
but yeah thats the shit I say to guys. Not to mention when I was texting said friend while she was with him in my drunken stupor i wrote
"He's completely perfect!"
Which I'm pretty sure she showed him because their best friends. Oh and did i mention I've only met this kid once.
While I was talking to another friend I made some comment and he said "Your book smart, but your socially clueless" which I think sums me up pretty well.
Weight wise this weekend was annoying. I lost 1lb friday then gained it back saturday. I think it may be due to the fact that I'm about to start my period, which sucks.
16 followers! Blows my mind thank you girls it means a lot! Hope you guys had a great weekend!
I binged. The day was going good food wise and of course I had to ruin it.
What was my brilliant idea after my binge you ask?... "I've always wanted to get a scale that shows my body fat percentage. I think I'm going to go buy one" yep went and spent $40 on a new scale so that I could come home and it tell me that I gained 1lb since this morning and my disgustingly high body fat percentage....fml
But I decided that no matter what the scale says tomorrow I'm not going to let it ruin my day. It just shows that i need to work harder. Exercise more. restrict more. exercise more. restrict more. And I'm going to have a lovely smile on my face while I'm doing it!
Today I finally got below the weight I was when I started this blog (pre- week long binge). I know I should be happy that I'm losing but I don't really feel like I have accomplished anything yet, bc i just lost the weight that I had gained so it really doesn't count.
Anyways, yesterday I was on the elevator at my apt complex and making small talk with the guy on there with me. We were both going to the top floor. The doors opened in mid conversation. He said "have a good day" and proceeded to walk off the elevator. All the while looking back at me (still standing in the elevator) with a confused look on his face. The doors of the elevator close. i'm still standing in there "waiting" for my stop, when I realize its not moving... instead of getting off with the guy (who lives on my floor) I was just standing. in the elevator. that was not moving. I do things like that all the time so it's nothing new for me (I'm the queen of highly embarrassing moments, I mean the things that happen to me/ i do/ say would make any normal person cry (or so I've been told) but i'm immune to it now (which I'm not sure is a good thing)) I just laughed at myself and brushed it off. Then when I got inside I told my roomie about my encounter with said guy (she has a crush/obsession with him) and her response was heavy laughter then "Oh my god thats so embarrassing. He probably thinks your a dumbass"....conclusion: just when I was started to feel like I had made a break through with my social awkwardness, my roomie had to slap me back to reality
Have a wonderful day girls!
I'm extremely exhausted so I'm going to try to keep this short and to the point.
It was a good day. I didn't eat nearly as much as I have been and every time my stomach growled, I smiled to myself.
I felt so empowered today, I haven't felt like this since my last fast. I forgot how much I loveeee it! I felt so confident today (I think it might be because i tried out a new hair style and got lots of compliments on it) I was making conversation with complete strangers (something I don't do..sober) and I just felt normal. so yeah it was a good day.
I lost .6lbs...not great but I'll take what ever I can get. I'm leaving for florida in 13 days and I still have 11lbs to lose so keep your fingers crossed!
Intake:
- Oatmeal -150
- 5 cheez its -22
- peppermint-20
Total- 192
I think tomorrow I'm going to try to plan it out to where I'm eating something small every few hours for my metabolism. Speaking of that, I bought some crystal light drink mix, the ones you put in a bottled water, and the kind I got said it helps to increase your metabolism. I'm a little skeptical of that but if your interested it's mango peach tea flavored. It tastes good and it's only 5cal per serving so its basically a win-win situation.
First of all I want to say hello and thank you to all followers! Its crazy to think people are actually reading this.
Weighed myself this morning. Lost 2.6 lbs woohoo! That makes up for the little loss I had yesterday. Other than that nothing much exciting has happened. School is stressing me out!! In the next week and a half I have 1 test and 5 finals that I NEED to do good on. All I have to say is thank god for adderall! Lets see, I recently became obsessed with Bruno Mars' new album its amazinggg!
My eating today was not the best. pretty shitty actually.
Intake:
- Oatmeal -100
- mint- 20
- salad-15
- dressing- 25
- turkey-200
- lentils - 350?
Total- 710
Stay beautiful girls
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